"I sit down to a blank page and see my oldest friend. Some days I write something decent. Some days I suck. Whatever. It’s not like I won’t be back tomorrow."
~ Sera Gamble

Monday 7 March 2011

Drabble Day "Memory"

Here is this week's Drabble Day challenge, Aheila picked 'Memory' for us to do this time! I actually found this one quite difficult, and hope this didn't turn out too badly in the end. Please let me know what you think!
"Throwing the pen down in frustration, Emma rose from her desk and stomped over to the window. Arms folded across her chest, she stared at the dark streets below, almost feeling the weight of the dark clouds sinking into her already stooping shoulders. Her vision blurring with anger. When she could hold them back no longer, she squeezed her eyes shut caging her tears as they defiantly stung the backs of her eyes, as if they too felt the anguish raging in her heart. Turning back to the photo frame slammed face-down on her desk, she poured all her spite and malice at it through those piercing eyes."

6 comments:

  1. Hello Sketching Girl! I should be speechless on this, but I never was the brightest bulb on the tree. I get it that there is an unhappy memory in that picture truned down on the desk, but you never mentioned, "Memory", showed no actual picture so we don't know anything about that, and it is hard assume what memory Emma Rose had that was so upsetting to her. I'm not a qualified critic, especially since all of my English teachers passed me to get rid of me! I'm just saying that is how this old person looks at it. TC Don

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  2. Thanks OldGeezer I consider myself to be an amateur writer, so any help anyone can offer I am grateful for!

    I did struggle with this one, and don't think it came out as well as a result. I had in my head that this was an ex-boyfriend she's unhappy with in the photo frame, but of course I didn't make that obvious in the writing, so as a reader you're completely unaware of that!
    Thank you for reminding me my readers don't have access to the 'memories' in my head!

    As for mentioning the word 'memory' in the Drabble, I don't think it's always necessary to mention the title in it, as it is the theme to base your short story on. Though I think it might have helped if I'd made it more obvious that she was remembering something, and what she was remembering!

    I think I did much better with my 'Ghost' Drabble, which doesn't mention the word Ghost, but does give you a better idea that there is a Ghost (at least I hope so)! See here:

    http://writing-in-the-woods.blogspot.com/2011/02/drabble-day-100-word-story-ghost.html

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  3. Hey SG ~~ I got the sense that her intense emotion at this particular moment ( triggered by a specific memory? ) prevented her from writing this letter to her boyfriend . Something like that ?
    Mish

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  4. Hi Mish, Thank you! That is pretty much what I was trying to convey! She was too upset to concentrate on her writing.

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  5. I got the boyfriend right away...

    The piercing eyes intrigued me:

    Since her eyes were shut to dam the tears the pierce, for me, was straight from the mind through the eyelids, which totally works for me :-)

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  6. Hi Alexander, Thanks! I hadn't thought of it like that, with her eyes shut and her mind piercing through her eyelids, I'd imagined her looking back (though now I see I didn't use those exact words), and she would have opened her eyes to look. But I really like your impression of it. I guess writing really is interpreted in different ways by each reader! Thanks again! :)

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